So there it was, in black and white. The question that I never wanted to have asked and the situation that I knew was going to inevitably happen one day. My husband had caught me cheating. So what do you do?
Lie and deny?
Or tell the truth.....
Given I am not particularly good at lying, especially to a man that has known me for nearly 18 years. I chose to tell the truth. Confess all. Every detail, the good, the bad and the ugly.
I didn't know what his reaction would really be, I could only guess and make a supposition based on knowing him for so long. But no one really knows how another person is going to react. It was a 50/50 thing. It was either going to end our marriage or change it irrevocably, for better or worse.
And our marriage needed to change. I had changed as a person but our marriage had remained stagnant, locked in a time warp that was no longer relevant to either of us. We were living the marriage of the people we used to be, not the people we had grown into.
I know, its a hell of a way to make changes in your marriage. Go out and fuck other men then confess it to him when your caught out at it. I suppose I could have sat him down and talk to him, but he wasn't interested in listening and I didn't know how to express myself. We both knew what we were doing, what our marriage was, wasn't working out as well as it could. Yes, it was comfortable, it was easy, it was low-stress, but somewhere along the way we had lost sight of each other and indeed ourselves.
Do I regret it, any of it? Do I regret telling him? No. Not a single part of it, in any way, shape or form. I do regret the hurt that it caused him. I think in many ways, my infidelity was a cry for help. It was a way of projecting the changes that I wanted to happen in my life. No one cheats on their partner for no reason what so ever. Telling him, instead of denying it was going to force change to happen. No matter if that change was bad.
So after all that was said and done, and the dust had settled, where did that leave me, my husband and our marriage?
W is for Waterskiing
1 day ago