I knew it wouldn't be easy opening our marriage up. I expected it to be challenging, to not always go well or as planned. But I think I had in some small way deluded myself as how to how fucking hard it would be sometimes. Monogamy is the norm, its the expected in society and its a strong belief that we are all raised with. You will find one partner, and one partner only and settle down into a life-long state of marital bliss with that person. Trying to overcome your own in-built morals surrounding that *fact* is hard enough, trying to do in within a relationship with another persons own perceptions of that in-built fact is fucking hard.
Monogamous relationships are fucking hard too. There are enormous challenges that face any couple trying to bond over a long period of time, hell just the passage of life and the changing nature of people makes any relationship require constant attention and work. Throw in all the pitfalls of trying open that relationship up to include other people and you just magnify every crack in your original relationship and discover great chasms opening up before your very eyes.
So if its so bloody hard, why do it? damn good question. Because when it does work and it is going well, its awesome, fulfilling, fun, exciting, satisfying and so many other things! And working your way through the hard bits with your partner is good, its not always fun but its good, its satisfying and at the end of the day you pop out the other side better off. Not only as a person but as a couple as well and those benefits can be felt in every single part of your life.
And when it doesn't work? When communication seems to go nowhere other than an ever decreasing circle...when jealous becomes too much for either of you to handle...when the hard bits feel too damn hard...what do you do then? Fucked if I know...
Y is for You
4 hours ago