There is a saying that goes something along the lines of "if you stop looking you will find it" I think that pretty much applies to whatever it is that your looking for, be it the flotsam of life including your car keys, right up to the big stuff that matters much.
I suspect that it has much to do with knowing what it is you want but not focusing on it. The mental image of whatever you desire is lurking constantly in the back of your mind, so when the opportunity presents itself your switched on enough to recognise it could lead to where you want to go, perhaps.
So I hear you ask, what is it I was looking for and how did I find it? After life went decidedly pear shaped a year or so ago, I formed the idea over a couple of month period, that should I ever involve myself with a man that I wasn't married to, then there was a certain type of man and certain type of relationship I wanted. Compromise was not going to enter into it.
I made this sweeping rationalisation and decision, never once thinking that the ideal scenario was even possible, let alone thinking that I would ever find it. But I did. I found a man (or rather he found me) who is in an open marriage, who fits all those little 'must haves' I have on my list. And the 'must haves' are not numerous and unreasonable, but past experience had made me think that finding someone who thought the same way as I do about open relationships and everything they encompass, was just never going to happen. But it did...
Oh and a big 'Thank you very much!' to everyone to who stopped by to say welcome back :)
My Search For The Other Replacement
1 hour ago