The successful applicant must have......

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

When I posted my profile on the 'adult dating' website, I must admit that I hadn't given too much thought to what sort of guy/s I was looking for. Sure I had a few basic rules about 'must have/must be' and was upfront in my profile about what I was seeking, but I didn't have a list of criteria they must meet. I have found that a criteria list has evolved through the experience of receiving messages and having a good hard think about the risks involved and how to minimise those risks.

As anyone who dips their toe outside the marital bed will tell you, there are indeed risks that come with this kind of thing. Some are small and easy to minimise, some are huge and potentially life destroying. Lets face it, when you buy a new car you get as many safety features that you can possibly afford in order to keep you and your family safe on the road, so why not put the same thought and effort into your potential fuck buddy? Not all of it is about risk, most of it is just about what I want in a man.

So no doubt your wondering what my criteria is! Wonder no more, for here it is.....

Must be/Must have

Must be married
There are a whole host of reasons why I'm not interested in single guys. Married guys have as much to lose as you do and have a healthy appreciation & understand for the risk etc. your putting yourself at.

Must live within the same city
Initially I was pretty tough on this bit of criteria, I thought that keeping it close to home would make logistics easier. But after thinking about this a bit more, I am beginning to think that someone from out of town who visits regularly could work. Oh and cut down on the chances of running into them in the pub on a Friday night! I'm now keeping my options open on that one.

Must be aged between 35 - 45
I'm not hugely ageist, if the right kinda guy fall slightly out of this range I won't discount him because of it. I have been messaged by quite a few guys well into their 50's and 60's, lets face it for them, a mid-thirties woman would be a hell of a score! But I'm just not into sugar daddy's.

Must have some intelligence
Hey, I'm not talking Mensa type intelligence here. Just someone who can hold a conversation and doesn't reply with grunts. Not that you need top-end linguist abilities to fuck but it doesn't hurt right?

Must have a sense of humour
There is nothing sexier than a guy with a wicked sense of humour. For me, this is about having fun as well as satisfying a need & it would be great to find someone you can have a laugh with at the same time!

Must look after themselves

I put a lot of effort into looking after myself and expect the same from my potential partners. I don't expect hard-bodied gym junkies (prefer not actually!) but a good standard of personal care and hygiene is a must.

Slappers need not apply
If your shagging or trying to shag everything that walks past, I'm not interested. I would prefer to think that I'm the only one or at least part of a select few that you share yourself with (quality over quantity)

There are more things that I take into account when weighing up a guys potential for being my fuck buddy and I'm sure I have missed a crucial bit of criteria off this list (it will no doubt come to me in the middle of the night!) Reading back over this post, I'm almost feeling like I'm being a wee bit picky. But at the end of the day, it is all about me......


JessTess said...

Picky is good, and I especially agree with your comment about the "Slapper." Guys on AM or other websites seem to think that if you are looking outside of marriage, then you will screw anything and everything. Nope.

Confessor X said...

Damn...Im soo close to fitting all your needs! just that damn distance rule ;)

I agree, slappers for both men and women need not apply!

Petal said...

JessTess: It is a shame that some guys think that about women who are looking for a bit of fun outside the marriage. I always imagine any experience with them would leave you feeling like they forgot to pay at the end of it!

ConX: Yeah you kinda fail on the distance one! Damn shame!

Anonymous said...

Why do they have to live in the same town? The convenience is wasted and could be too tempting. You have to go out of town to be together anyway so if you are 40-60 miles away it leaves many potential places to meet, closer to you, closer to him and equally close. By the way, you just described me! Except the part about living in your town.

Petal said...

Wryguy: You make a good point, I have softened up on the distance rule after thinking it over a bit more. There are advantages to distance!

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