Sitting on the edge of vanilla...

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

I have and have had for a very long time, a fascination with D/s and BDSM. Everything about it interests me, the theory, the play the whole lifestyle and of course the mystery of it all. I have read a lot about it. Talked to people who experience it, online and in 'real' life and have even dabbled a bit in the 'kink' of it all. And I do mean dabble, it has been something that has come and gone but its something that I always find myself returning to. But I'm sure this confession surprises none of you that have been reading my blog for a while, if you look its woven into a lot of what I have written here.

D/s relationships fascinate me. The exchange of power, the gift of submission, the acceptance of responsibility from the Dominant. It is not something that naturally slots into the modern society any longer which makes it all the more interesting. Especially for me, a woman who very much leads and controls her own life. I have life made up of leadership and control. I am the one that is sitting at the top but I ponder what would it be like to be able to give that up, just for a moment, a little while.

To not be in control, to not be the one making the decisions, to be able to surrender fully and completely to another. And another who would take you to the very edge of your boundaries, the edge of that cliff and push you to take one more step closer to the edge....

9 comments:

Happy said...

Like you I am a leader in life. Like you I've generally only played at BDSM. But I have tosay this.
There is a feeling of freedom that can only be experienced when you have given control of yourself into the hands of another.

bdenied said...

well your interest is so typical of those who spend a lot of their life in charge...I can only say explore and be careful with whom you choose to explore...but until you satisfy your urge it will only grow stronger and frustrate you in the process...go for it

Gray said...

What a great post! And like you I have up until now just dabbled, but I found someone I trust so completely I would follow him anywhere he asked and even if he didn't. Definitely continue your exploration and be very careful of who you trust.

Aurore said...

It's not uncommon for submissives to be very in control in their "real lives". All of the blogs I read are written by well educated, powerful, spunky women. Not a pushover in the bunch!

Personally, I've begun to understand that because I am so in control of the other aspects of my life that to surrender, cede, give up control to someone who cares and will make the right choices for me, is liberating. There is freedom in submission.

Complicated Kitten said...

When I am on my knees submitting to my Master, it is my happy place! Like Aurore said, I have much control of my life. However, I am in pure heaven when I am being topped by my Dominant.

Ben said...

Ah, Petal, it could have been my wife writing this post. We are both leaders in our “real world” lives, myself in a business situation and my wife as a teacher. We talk. We direct. Even in participatory situations, we lead.

Sarah told me long ago that to have a truly great fuck, even on very even terms, there would always come a moment when she would have to let go, to succumb to my male dominance. And for me it was the same. We have a very “partnership” domestic relationship, a marriage of equals. But when I am aroused, after extensive and generous foreplay, there comes a moment when I become, when she expects, my dominance.

We had joked about light bondage but never done anything. So once we were at the vacation home of some friends and guess what we found under the bed in the guest bedroom: a set of tie downs. Were they left in place accidentally or on purpose? In any case, we tried them out, bought our own, and have enjoyed them ever since.

We play at D/s and at bondage, and only on occasion. We can go either way, but I would say that she is tied up three times out of four. We do not live a D/s lifestyle in any way. It is just play, and a lot of fun. There is something magic about having to abandon control in a very intense sexual situation.

Eva Huntress said...

Nothing is more liberating than letting go, there lays the real freedom.

Black Pearl said...

I'm an so with you on this fantasy! I keep telling hubby that he can get forceful with me, but he's not ready yet!

Jade said...

That is exactly how I began my first tentative forays into BDSM...of course now I do much more than dabble, and have gone much further than I ever expected--and have found deeper satisfaction than I ever expected as well.

I was lucky to have found the right friends, and then playmates, to show me the way. Go slow, be careful, don't let anyone else steer you in a direction you don't want to go. It's a lovely, tantalizing, delicious exploration!

Jade

 
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