Communication...I completely suck at it. Well I do and I don't. I have learnt through the various roles in my life to be an extraordinarily good communicator depending on the situation. Professionally, my greatest compliments come from my ability to communicate with my customers, to listen, understand what they are saying and quite often what they aren't saying and deliver back to them their vision.
But on a personal level, I really don't communicate very well at all. I am great at listening, but not verbally giving back anything about me, anything personal or to even communicate what I'm thinking or feeling at the time.I tend to bottle in everything I am thinking and feeling and not express it at the person it needs to be expressed to. One thing I am good at though is making assumptions instead of asking, dear god am I fantastic at that, much to my own detriment sometimes. Although in my own defence, I do think I am getting better at communicating. I try and make a conscious effort now to ask what I want to know, to tell how I feel. But I do wonder....
Are you only as bad at communicating as the person your trying to communicate with? If you get nothing back from that person, if they aren't sharing why on earth would you put yourself out there and talk about your own wants, needs, desires...well you don't. So its pretty much a two way street.
So why is it such a big deal...communication? Its what keeps us close in relationships, that constant sharing. It lets you know where the other person is at. From the simple "How was your day?" to the deeper, more meaningful level of communication, it creates and keeps the bond between two people. Without it, there is no relationship...
So if communication is so damn important, why are we often so bad at it?
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6 comments:
Totally agree !!
Funny, you described my friend! She hates communicating, especially with men. Her preference is text messaging or emails. She can't handle talking on the phone or person to person. Yes..I agree with you as well. =)
Wow, I am just like you! I can listen with the best of them but once it comes down to personal communication I have such a hard time. It is definitely a learned skilled and easier as time goes on but sometimes..
Good question ~ I'm like you, good at hearing people out, bad at opening up on a personal level.
My lover used to be able to share his feelings so openly, but in the beginning I was having a hard time but, as time went by, I got better at it. Maybe women are unconsciously afraid of opening up to a man, afraid to be judged, taken advantage of, and so on.
I don't know, but it's definitely something to think about.
I think it might be because we are afraid to put our selves *out there* vulnerable and exposed.
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