Lost libido's and returning lovers...

Thursday, October 8, 2009

I appear to have lost my libido....I strongly suspect I left it somewhere in Thailand, along with the lust fairy [You know her, that evil little imp that sits on my shoulder encouraging me into all sorts of mischief]. I know, very careless of me and if any of you happen across either of them, please return asap!

But it appears mine isn't the only one that's gone AWOL. The H has lost his too....quite possibly in Thailand as well, he doesn't remember when or where he put it down, but its gone! As a result the marital bed has been an oasis of calm and snoring lately.....nothing rockin our headboard! Ah, nothing that a bottle of wine and some good porn shouldn't fix!

The returning lover? well no prizes for guessing who that may be....Yup, you guessed right, Mr Big [see I told you no prizes, it was too easy] As yet its not so much of a return, since I haven't seen him in six weeks, but an agreement of continuance. How did that happen? Well I pretty much told him what I told you all in this post. And that was all well and good. I got a ' nice knowing you, must catch up over a coffee sometime in the distant future' response.

Then three days later I received the mother of all bollockings! Everything from 'How do you know that I don't want the same thing as you' to 'How dare you assume what I'm thinking when you wont even talk to me or ask me' and oh-so-many more. The cynic inside me says that a horny, single guy will say and promise an awful lot to keep a fuck buddy. Not as green as I am cabbage looking. So, for now, I am keeping him around. No expectations.

11 comments:

Advizor said...

No expectations? that's a tough one because they seem to come out of nowhere.

Suddenly it's all fun and games and the minute you wake up expecting him to make breakfast, spend the morning, take you shopping, or even return a phone call.

He expects you to sleep over, be available on weekends, accept a Christmas package, or wear the dress he bought you to your husband's Christmas party.

Expectations are sneaky things....

Topaz said...

Ah, I know where you are coming from, but Advizor raises the funny, but dangerously realistic point that we sometimes don't realize when expectation hits us upside the head... and yes, these are words from the recently bitten...

Dewey's System said...

I am relating to your post quite heavily right now as I too am going through a strange phase of lost libido myself. And even more stranger than that I have someone that would actually like to see me.

Now if I could just remember where I set my libido down then maybe I'd take advantage of my situation.

I agree with Advizor too about expectations. So tricky. It's certainly one aspect of this person that I'm having trouble with.

Now go get some wine and porn

Sexy PTA Mom said...

Been there, done that. Recently too. But it seems to be coming back. Life goes in cycles, and that's okay. Sometimes you need a break to fully appreciate hotness. Mr. Big I am not sure about. I have some fuckbuddies, but they are just that. I haven't been comfortable when that situation changes. But you know best what you need.

The Fool Of The World said...

I found out 4 weeks ago that I got cheated on by wifey. I came accross your blog and even though I'm bitter and defeated I would like to glean info from you. I have some questions for you or any of your readers:

Question #1: In general is it difficult for a wife to remain faithful when presented with the right opportunities (meaning factors are present such as sexual attraction, flirtaciousness, unfulfilled needs in marriage, right time, right place, etc...)?

Question #2: Do you see faithfulness as an unnecessary invention by controlling spouses?

Question #3: If caught like my wife, would you change your ways or make believe you've changed your ways just for appearances sake, or would you just flip him off (or any other response)?

I am staying strong and do not have any intention of going back to a marital relationship with her.

bdenied said...

I wonder if the lost libido is a result of the revelations that have taken place between you and H?

southerngirl said...

Advizor DOES raise some interesting points. But when one genuinely enjoys time with their "other" and things are fresh and new...we look for those opportune moments to be together and share. Then those expectations sneak up and bite us in the ass.

Petal said...

Advisor, Topaz, Dewey, Sexy PTA Mom and Southerngirl:

You are all right, I know you are. It was expectations that led to me trying to can the relationship in the first place and I dont have a hope in hell of holding them off now...but I can be soooo very good at foolin myself sometimes!!

bdenied: Possibly. Although the more likely scenario is too much work, too much stress and not enough time off and time together....for the record, the bottle of wine and porn worked...we have our mojo back!

Barefoot Dreamer said...

we all go through phases. we are finally a bit on an upswing again- very much a roller coaster ride around here.

Dharma said...

Man, people are so fickle...and guys can be so fucking hard to read sometimes.

I mean, I know men say that about women, but I wouldn't know how to do "guile" if I swallowed a bottle of it. So I have a hard time thinking men have as difficult a time "reading" women as we have reading them.

Mr. Big needs a swift kick.

As for the waning libido, I think it has something to do with the changing of the seasons (it sounds good anyway)...seems to be happening all over the adult blogosphere. You are in good company (*my* libido is not on the decline, presently, but I've read many a recent post about regularly horny fuckers not being interested at all!).

Kimberly said...

I don't know if a single guy will say anything to keep a fuck buddy - this is a very interesting development. But best not to raise expectations.

Good luck with that wine and porn!

 
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