The 27 year old brunette....

Friday, October 23, 2009

Nooo not for me! I don't *do* young ones [That's a topic worth a whole damn post!] So if not for me, your asking, then who? why the H of course. Yes, he has found himself a hot, young thing. And how does Ms Petal feel about this you wonder? well actually ok, more than ok! In fact I feel just great about it.

I know that at some point I will feel very un-ok about this, and I have been indeed wondering if I'm deluding myself in some way. But every way I look at it, every time I think about it, its fine. When he first told me about her, some months ago, I was good with it. When he came home today and told me about the outstanding oral sex they had in the park during their picnic lunch I was more than great about it, in fact I was down right excited for him!

Which in some small way worries me a bit. Am I supposed to feel this ok about it? Aren't I supposed to feel horribly jealous? Should I be intimidated and put out by the fact she's 27 and hot? Am I supposed to feel a twinge of something that she gives outstanding blow jobs? I don't though. None of that worries me, upsets me or makes me jealous. I am happy and I'm even happier that he's happy!

The conclusion I have come to, what I am experiencing is compersion. Compersion, as defined by Wikipedia, being "the experience of taking pleasure that one's partner is experiencing pleasure, even if the source of their pleasure is other than yourself". Oddly enough, or not oddly, its something I feel about many aspects of my life with the H. I don't just get pleasure from seeing him happy with his hot, young girlfriend but I feel pleasure whenever he's happy, no matter what is making him happy. It is definitely very cool stuff.

Now I do know that one day, one moment, I am not going to be happy about it all. There will be things that makes me feel insecure, upset, jealous, emotional and so many other thing but that's just part of having an open relationship and I also know that none of that or those feelings wont be able to be overcome by communication.....ah, so much easier to say than do I know!

7 comments:

Topaz said...

It seems like your communication is great in both the physical and the emotional. When the time comes for the emotional to take priority, let's hope that this holds true.

Soul Powers said...

Maybe I can have you convince my wife that Compersion is a good place to be. lol.

Dom Tom said...

I would suggest you check out a movie called Breaking the Waves. It goes even beyond what you are talking about, but in reverse, sort of. I don't want to give too much away, but it is.a fascinating film.

Dewey's System said...

You look like you have the body of a 27 year old so why does it bother/not bother you that he's with a 27 year old? :) -ok that was shameless flirting but this is good. I like to hear about more married couples that are able to embrace compersion as opposed to jealousy. How does he handle it when you're having your fun?

Ben said...

Well, it worked for my wife and myself. When she first told me about her re-emergent bi-curiosity, my immediate desire was for her to be happy. And she and our mutual lover have returned the favor many times over. It can work. I also worry about the day it ends. Who will be left holding the short straw? Enjoy it while you can, as long as you have your own freedom to enjoy.;

Rainy said...

Wow.. I still remember the post the day he found the condoms in the drawer and now, he has a yong hot thing??

As long as you're happy for him and okay with it, I say, "Yay!" - you're really strong.

xoxo

Fantasia Lillith said...

Love isn't about ownership. So yes ... there should be no room for jealousy.

 
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