Jon, John n Jonathon

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Yeah, a bit like Ed, Edd n Eddy but with less boogers I promise you! The only problem with real time blogging is that sometimes stuff (sex) just doesn't happen! And this week its been a little light on the action front.....such is life but busy in other ways. This week, John's have been like buses, none for ages then three come along at once. So let me tell you the story about the 'John's' and how I turned into an email queen!

Also referred to as IT guy in my previous post. Ahhh another coffee date, gotta love em. There is nothing like the little thrill of excitement and anticipation in meeting a new potential lover and this date was no exception. We hit it off exceptionally well via email and arranged to meet up. This all happened quite quickly which is typical for me, I'm not really an email queen, would rather get the first meeting over and done with in fairly short order instead of to-ing and fro-ing via email. So I meet up with Jon at the cafe, lovely guy, quite cute in a nerdy kinda way. We are chatting happily away over coffee doing the whole 'getting to know you' conversation and part of it goes like this...

Me: So how long have you been married?
Him: Oh just over 5 years
I think to myself, gosh that's not long before you start straying!
Me: Do you have any children?
Him: Yeah two, ones 17 months old and the other is 8 weeks old
I start hearing this little clanging noise in my ear, alarm bells perhaps?
Me: Sooo out of curiosity, why are you looking at dipping your toe outta the marital bed?
Him: Well my wife and I just don't have sex anymore, with her being pregnant and that I have hardly had any sex for nearly a year now.

At this point I think my jaw fell open, I started breathing deeply to try and control the overwhelming urge to speak before I thought (a terrible habit I have) In my eyes, Jon had just lost all of his attractiveness. Now I know I am an adulterer and therefore I am no position to judge others who want to screw around but I have a few morals left and I'm not going to screw a guy who in my opinion should be at home helping out his wife, not having a coffee with me bitching about how hes not getting any. I was his wife once, two small children, sleep deprived with zero sex drive due to circumstances. So instead of letting rip at this guy how he needs to man up, go home and give his wife a foot rub instead of looking for another woman to fuck, I politely made my excuses and bolted for the door. Before I climb off my soapbox, I just have to say in my humble opinion a pregnancy and small children are not a reason to stray, its situational, we all have gone through it, get over it dude, its a dry spell, learn how to wank or something!

After my previous meeting with the other Jon, I am now evolving into a bit of an email queen. I'm also developing quite a long check list of 'stuff I need to know' which I throw randomly and haphazardly into conversation before setting up that all important first meeting. I haven't actually met this John yet, the big day is this Tuesday. Woohoo I cant wait! But so far, he's ticking all the right boxes and from his picture I don't think a paper bag will be required.

I met this guy through a slightly different method from the usual (hey you take your men from where you can find em) and I am in full email queen mode now! I am having a huge amount of fun bouncing emails back and forth with this guy. Hes witty, articulate and a lot of fun to chat to......oh and hes tall! I am really looking forward to seeing where this one takes me, but just quietly, I think he's a keeper.


Cheating Wife said...

I love the anticipation of meeting a new (potential) intoxicating. ;-) Can't wait to see what happens...and, would agree on the one who has babies at home. I have one chasing me that has only been married 2 years and has a baby. Warning bells are going off like crazy...


Anonymous said...

OMG I could have written that :) I don't like emailing for too long before meeting and I do also have a checklist. Poor guys... now they really have to step up their games if they want to make an impression.

All joking aside, I'm totally with you on the first one... He should be home with his wife and kids. (Ok... I just swallowed a big hypocrisy chunk, as I do have one-year old twins at home and I do find time to have a few sidelines)

Good luck with the two other potential lovers :) Can't wait to know what happens with those.

RIV said...

I have to agree with you on Jon.
Its one thing to have a loveless marriage or seeking out something new, but his reasons for straying IS VERY selfish.

I consider myself a fairly immoral person, but even i have my standards; granted that they are low, but they are standards nontheless.

Word: conmug.

The Duchess said...

Jon #1 = moron who doesn't deserve sex.
Can't wait to hear about the rest. :)

Buddha said...

May I interject a man's POV here, and no I am not trying to be a jerk just a personal observation
All the guys I know that are into virtual sex are real life losers.
A half decent real man is better than the best online Casanova.
IMO :)

Crystal said...

I am with you. Meet as soon as possible and get it over with. I do not wnat to waste my time for a man to chicken out or have too much time and expectations invested by playing email tag.

I would have given that man a piece of my mind. I get if the wife no longer puts out but after awhile and so soon after they had their second child. His brain and heart should be at home. Scary.


Riff Dog said...

Yes, Jon definitely had to go. I'm not one who likes to judges either, but I'd have felt pretty guilty dating a guy who's wife just gave birth, knowing she's getting no sleep while I was fucking her husband.

I'm liking John and Jonathon, though! Much more than Ed, Edd, and Eddy!

Sexie Sadie~ said...

I love it! 3 very different J's to choose from, lucky you!

Yes, I am with you on the preg/nursing front. I have encountered men with the same sort of circumstances and I can never keep myself from saying "what the hell Go home and talk to your wife for fucks sake :)"

Whether or not they do is up to them. I presume they just move on. Next!


bdenied said...

I like girls who have extramarital affairs...girls who spread their legs regardless of a man's marital status....but on this one.....she is home pregnant.....and she has not given the ok to fuck around....yeah that's low.....really low....I think you could have whacked him in the find someone who is problem and spread for him...not his jerk....

Anonymous said...

I don't think Jon#1 is so bad, my wife was taking care of business before the 6 week waiting period was up after each of our three kids. Just because you had a kid isn't an excuse to get complacent...that's what drives guys to look elsewhere. Just sayin...

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