Of Dick Pics and Other Things...

Thursday, March 5, 2009

The website I use to find men allows the guys (and girls too) to have a profile picture. Now women of the world, correct me if I'm wrong, but the very first thing you do not want to see when looking at a screen full of male profiles, is a picture of his meat and veges. Sure I do want to see, don't get me wrong but its just not the first thing I want to see. Unless of course you fit into that freak of nature category in which case I will happily perve away. My personal favourite picture was one of a guy with his member laid out on a table with a cigarette lighter next to it as a size marker and the lighter looked tiny! I suspect in hindsight that he may have used one of those little half size baby lighters!

Personally, I like to see a lovely shot of a chest, back maybe or even some tight buns, that will do it for me every time. And a small tip if your going to show your buns clad, please think carefully about the cladding. I know I'm an underwear snob but seriously guys, you can buy nice undies out there, instead of using the ones from the six pack that your mother-in-law bought you for Christmas. Y-fronts, baggy boxers and women's underwear (yes, seriously I have seen) are not going to float the average woman's boat. Oh, and thongs, sorry but thongs make me think of "The Hoff", leopard print and ..... we won't follow that thought train any further, its just getting into ugly territory.

Colour is important too, I will never forget the day that I unzipped the original bit on the sides pants only to discover a pair of undies in the most lurid and sick inducing green colour. Killed my mojo completely! Do you know how hard it is to give a blow job whilst your sniggering??

Now if you are going to insist on popping up a picture of your manhood, might I be bold enough to suggest that:

1. You get a hard on - this one really doesn't need any explanation, hard cock always looks better than soft cock.

2. You have just a wee bit of a trim around the shrubbery. Personally I like my guys clean shaven, but if your not into that at least a little work on the garden never hurts.

So why do men put their tackle out there in all its glory as their profile picture? Do they hope that women will respond in kind and load up pic's of their vajayjays all over the internet? Ok, don't answer that, you probably do. I rather suspect though, that the only people interested in checking out the profile pictures of cocks, without having to look at the rest of the profile, is other men (in leopard print thongs) I will leave you with that thought.......

9 comments:

hoodie said...

I don't have a profile on any of those sites, and if I did, it probably wouldn't be of my cock...but I think you're going down the right track with the:
Do they hope that women will respond in kind and load up pic's of their vajayjays all over the internet?

So, yeah, you said don't answer that, but I did any way ;)

Anonymous said...

It sounds like you are a AFF user, not AshleyMadison.

Anonymous said...

Why do men post their cocks? Same reason women state they want a guy who's hung. Exactly the same reason. Does it really matter? Only in your head, not your bush.

Riff Dog said...

My theory is men do it because they stupidly think, "I love nekkid pitchers, so I'll bet wimmens love 'em too!"

Or maybe they're really, really ugly and figure, "I sure as hell can't show my face!"

Kimberly said...

I know exactly what you mean. I mean seriously, we are girls who are into cock, and even WE do not even want to see a picture of your cock! I wonder if it is the male equivalent of a blog?

Petal said...

Kimberly: I'm cracking up at the idea of it being the male equivalent of a blog, you could be on to something there! (look at me, look at me!)

Riff: Having seen a few 'faces' that go with the 'nekkid' pictures, your right, that was their best feature!

Anon: Yup its AFF, AshleyMadison has not yet spread its tentacles to this part of the world.

Hoodie: Sooooo what would you show then??

d2b said...

Somehow I feel a little bit guily, but I'm reading this with a smile on my face :)

Enchanted Mistress said...

Okay your post was just funny and TRUE! I guess men think to get a woman's attention you got to show the equipment and assets..so to speak ;)

sexentric said...

Haha! I was always surprised by this myself. Now as I dont put my face up, I do use a pic of my ass, but I figured it was part of a guythat both ladies and some guys like!
I remember a female sex blogger talking about how surreal it was to be 'chatting' with all these cocks lol.

 
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