One fucked up Friday night...

I adore test driving a new lover. The thrill, the anticipation of it all. Lets face it, its hot! So this particular Friday night I had a new man to try out. We shall call him The Cowboy, for reasons I am not going to explain. But before I went to meet up with him, I caught with my friends for our usual Friday night drinks after work [after all, men come and go, girlfriends last forever(ish) ergo important to keep in touch] 

So there I was, sipping my glass of house Sav blanc when I spotted a bit of something tasty a couple of tables over having his Friday night drinks with work colleagues. I clocked the wedding ring after checking out his nice tight arse and with one more [possibly fatal, hey I need the dutch courage for The Cowboy] house Sav sliding down I made the decision to be bold, brave and daring....as ya do when you have quite clearly more than enough to drink.


I whipped out one of my business cards and wrote my cellphone number on the back and a formulated a plan to drop it in his lap as I made my move to leave. Outstanding plan so far? As it turns out, as I was getting up and leaving, so was he. I managed to catch him just out side the door and I slipped my business card into his pocket as I walked past him, the rest of the plan being he went his way and I went mine. Yeah I know, slick move right?


Well the first bit went exceedingly well, the business card managed to end up in his pocket but it turned out he was walking in the same direction as me. He pulled my card out of his pocket and said 'Wow, what's this?' I just flashed him a grin and kept walking. So then he starts reading out my card, specifically my name. He then turns to me and asks ' So do you know what my name is?' I think I avoided rolling my eyes at him [ I mean really, what a question] I shook my head and said 'No, what's your name?' 'My name is Paul xxxxxxxxx' he replied.


OMFG we shared the same last name! I mean really, what are the odds, especially given I do not have a very common last name. As we walked towards our cars we chatted about how we hoped we weren't related and he told me how he works just around the corner from me. As we came up beside his car I wished him a good weekend and a good night. As I walked away I could tell he was checking out my arse [as us women just can tell]. I got to my car and as I was climbing in he pulled up beside me and dropped down the window. 'So its ok if I call you?' he asked.....'Oh yes, absolutely!' was my reply. Same last name...some days I wonder if only shit like that happens to me...


So with one daring act out of the way it was off to spend sometime with The Cowboy. Now usually to cover up my nervousness I tend to be rather bold. So on arrival and after the pleasantries I decided to break the ice by whipping off my dress and straddling his lap wearing only my underwear, so far so good. Ice was broken and things started to move along swimmingly. His clothes came off as did the rest of my underwear. A bed was found and we started to get down and dirty with our nekkidness, until I noticed a small problem with the scenario.


He seemed to be, ummm well, rather soft and I don't mean that in a 'lovely soft skin' kind of way. A vital ingredient was definitely missing for our night of passion. Now I know that this is a hard thing to deal with when your a guy. Sometimes the mind is willing but the body just isn't playing along. So I started digging into my wee bag of tricks to see if I can get an... ahem... 'rise' out of him. Nothing really appeared to be working. Nothing. At. All. Short of me sticking my finger up his butt and I so wasn't going there, I couldn't see a solution to this particular issue.


Then he starts apologising, which as you all well know just makes it all worse. You kinda have two choices at that moment. Be a bitch, throw your clothes and high tail it out of there or hang it in there and try your damnedest to try and make him feel better. I chose the latter and suggested we just cuddle for a while. So we lay there and cuddle and I try to distract his mind with some varied and no doubt inane chatter about all sorts of stuff, all the while stroking my hands over him...in the interests of brevity I will skip the hours worth of this...and finally he begins to relax and engage in the conversation. Then finally, my wandering hands notice that he's rising to the occasion, presumable as a result of just chilling out and my gentle stroking, hopefully it wasn't the story I was telling about riding elephants in Thailand I happened to be telling at the time [don't want to ponder the possibilities of this]


Anyway, with all the necessary ingredients present and correct to carry on our 'big night of fun' we start rolling around and he enters me...mmmm....he puts in a couple of long hard thrusts and I utter those [possibly fatal] words 'Oh yes, thats it, fuck me harder'....


And that, was pretty much that. I guessed that he wasn't going to return the orgasm favour when he rolled off and offered me a cup of tea [wtf is with men and offering tea after sex?] I politely declined his lovely offer of tea and this time threw my clothes on and high tailed it out of there. Seriously, I sometimes wonder, does only this kinda shit happen to me?