My sister sent this email to me this morning and I have spent the last ten minutes cracking up over it.....too funny, so I thought I would share......
Sing the tune "I will survive"
SING IT GIRLS!!!
At first I was afraid, I was petrified.
When you said you had 10 inches, Lord I almost died!
But I'd spent so many years just waiting for a man that long, that
I grew strong, and I knew that I could take you on...
But there you are, another lie,
I was ready for a Big Mac and you've brought me a French fry!
I should have known that it was bulls***t, just a sad pathetic dream
Should have known there was no Anaconda lurking in those
Jeans!
Go on now - go! , Walk out the door,
Don't you promise me 10 inches, then turn up with only 4!
Weren't you a brat to think I wouldn't find you out!?
Don't you know we're only joking when we say size don't count??!!
[Chorus]
I will survive! I will survive!
Cuz as long as I have batteries,
My sex life's gonna thrive!
I will always have good sex,
With a handful of latex!
I will survive! I will survive! Hey! Hey!
It took all my self control not to laugh out loud,
When I saw your little weiner standing tall and proud!
But to hell with your ego and to hell with all your needs,
Now I'm saving all my lovin' for a cordless multispeed!
[Chorus]
I will survive! I will survive!
Cuz as long as I have batteries,
My sex life's gonna thrive!
I will always have good sex,
With a handful of latex!
I will survive! I will survive! Hey! Hey!
When you said you had 10 inches, Lord I almost died!
But I'd spent so many years just waiting for a man that long, that
I grew strong, and I knew that I could take you on...
But there you are, another lie,
I was ready for a Big Mac and you've brought me a French fry!
I should have known that it was bulls***t, just a sad pathetic dream
Should have known there was no Anaconda lurking in those
Jeans!
Go on now - go! , Walk out the door,
Don't you promise me 10 inches, then turn up with only 4!
Weren't you a brat to think I wouldn't find you out!?
Don't you know we're only joking when we say size don't count??!!
[Chorus]
I will survive! I will survive!
Cuz as long as I have batteries,
My sex life's gonna thrive!
I will always have good sex,
With a handful of latex!
I will survive! I will survive! Hey! Hey!
It took all my self control not to laugh out loud,
When I saw your little weiner standing tall and proud!
But to hell with your ego and to hell with all your needs,
Now I'm saving all my lovin' for a cordless multispeed!
[Chorus]
I will survive! I will survive!
Cuz as long as I have batteries,
My sex life's gonna thrive!
I will always have good sex,
With a handful of latex!
I will survive! I will survive! Hey! Hey!
11 comments:
Oh my god, that is the funniest thing I've seen all week! Thank you for sharing!
Someone needs to record that and post it on YouTube!! That's great...
I love this !!!!
I just sent it to my wife.
And here I thought it wasn't size, it was how I used it that counted....Oh well.
That was great! I need to send it to my female friends..too funny!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!
...french fry....
hahaha!
Funny. Real men will not be threatened :)
Oh, I SO needed that right now!!! LOL...thanks!
Tag... you're it!
Come over to my blog to check it out...
I love it! And I promise not to bring you a french fry. ;-)
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