HNT: *That* Picture

Anyone who holds a membership to an 'Adult Dating' website has one of these. Yup, that picture that you send out to those that you deem worthy of receiving it. It shows you at your flattering best without giving away who you are, hot (I hope) but anonymous. This is mine.....

Happy Half-Nekkid Thursday everyone!

List of 8's

Here are the rules:

1. Mention the person (or people) who tagged you.
2. Complete the lists of 8s.
3. Tag 8 other bloggers and let them know they have been tagged.

I got this from the lovely Topaz

8 things I am looking forward to:
-getting a hair cut & colour
-going on holiday next month!
-summer
-finishing our house renovation
-getting home tonight
-having a wine & a catch up with my sister (nothing like a girly gossip to sooth the soul)
-a time when we don't have to work so much/so hard
-my next restaurant meal

8 things I did yesterday:
-had sex with the H (why did that come to mind first??)
-forgot 'the original bit on the side's' birthday (yup I'm in deep shite over it)
-drank two glasses of outstanding Yarpie pinot noir....yeah who would have thought it eh?
-ate chocolate
-banked an extremely large cheque for a work contract we have just finished (Yay money, wine, chocolate & sex all on the same day and it was a Monday too! outstanding!)
-went to work
-had a major tantrum over the teenager hogging the bathroom in the morning
-agreed to babysit a miniature poodle while her Daddies are away on holiday for a week

Isn't she cute!

8 things I wish I could do:
-not be at work right now....
-find more time to go to the gym
-spend more time with my husband & kids
-eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted with no effect!
-run 10km without stopping
-not worry about stuff so much
-paint the fingernails on my right hand without making a mess of it
-rule the world mwahahaha (kidding!)

8 shows I watch:
-Greys anatomy
-The News
-Sarah's House
-Grand Designs
-Any kind of motorsport
-The politically incorrect guide to parenting
-U choose 40
-too many kids shows to count!

8 favourite fruits:
-kiwifruit
-mandarin
-bananas
-papaya
-mango
-grapes (not sure if they are really a fruit!)
-nashi
-watermelon

8 places I'd like to travel:
-Italy
-The UK
-Canada
-The States
-Vietnam
-China
-Egypt
-The South Island

8 places I've lived:
Will skip this one, being from a very small country and all....

8 people I've tagged who don't have to if they don't want to:
Well hell, everyone I wanted to tag has been tagged already! Feel free to pop it on your own blog tho!

Friday funny

Yeah its Friday down here! TGIF!

My sister sent this email to me this morning and I have spent the last ten minutes cracking up over it.....too funny, so I thought I would share......

Sing the tune "I will survive"


SING IT GIRLS!!!

At first I was afraid, I was petrified.
When you said you had 10 inches, Lord I almost died!
But I'd spent so many years just waiting for a man that long, that
I grew strong, and I knew that I could take you on...
But there you are, another lie,
I was ready for a Big Mac and you've brought me a French fry!
I should have known that it was bulls***t, just a sad pathetic dream
Should have known there was no Anaconda lurking in those
Jeans!

Go on now - go! , Walk out the door,
Don't you promise me 10 inches, then turn up with only 4!
Weren't you a brat to think I wouldn't find you out!?
Don't you know we're only joking when we say size don't count??!!

[Chorus]

I will survive! I will survive!
Cuz as long as I have batteries,
My sex life's gonna thrive!
I will always have good sex,
With a handful of latex!
I will survive! I will survive! Hey! Hey!

It took all my self control not to laugh out loud,
When I saw your little weiner standing tall and proud!
But to hell with your ego and to hell with all your needs,
Now I'm saving all my lovin' for a cordless multispeed!

[Chorus]

I will survive! I will survive!
Cuz as long as I have batteries,
My sex life's gonna thrive!
I will always have good sex,
With a handful of latex!
I will survive! I will survive! Hey! Hey!

Warning: Bitchy, whiny vent ahead...

How many times can someone bail out of plans you have made with them before you starting thinking its you? Was it something I said, something I did, geez do I smell bad? I know 'life' happens and shit just gets in the way, but really, fuck....

Mr Big has, yet again, 'been unable to make it'. And I'm pissed, seriously pissed [as if you couldn't already guess] and what's even worse is I'm pissed off that I'm pissed off.....this should not be pissing me off! Mind you, I should have known, its Monday. For some reason, Mondays and I just don't mix.

Oh and then he asks if I'm free one night this week instead....well I could be but I'm pissed off and I cant have sex with someone I'm pissed off with [a girl thing I suspect] so that particular little gem has gone unanswered for the moment....it could take several hours [days] for me to cool off enough to formulate a reply.

Oh it just gets better too....I had been writing a post about the original bit on the side finally being out of my life, but no, he's not. He has started a new job today as a general manager for a large company [good for him, he deserves it!] and I rather naively thought that this new job would keep him relatively office bound and too busy to bother with me. Wrong. So far I have been furnished with his new cellphone number [ you can text me any time] and spammed with emails this morning, ok not spamed, they contained some quite outstanding porn clips, but still. He's there....still. I was obviously being a tad preemptive in writing that post!

On the bright side....I have the most gorgeous blueberry and white chocolate muffin and a packet of timtams waiting for me when I get home, no day is so bad that it cant be fixed with chocolate or alcohol or both!

The rules...

I started out on this journey as an accidental adulterer. There were no rules, it was swift and lustful. The original bit on the side and I made up the rules as we went along. Later along the path I embarked on deliberate infidelity and a set of personal rules evolved and developed. The first set of rules that evolved were about the kind of guy I was looking for. I set a basic list of criteria that he had to meet, which can be found here in this post.

And by in large, I stuck to that list of criteria when I chose the guys I was going to sex with. Helicopter guy and Mr Big were selected based on the fact they met all of those points. But what do you do when one of your 'rules' is changed half way through the game?

Which rule you ask....the must be married rule. This is one that I have felt so strongly about I even climbed on my wee soapbox and had a little rant about it in this post. So when Mr Big told me he and his partner were ending their relationship I was stunned. Firstly out of concern for him but secondly because it meant that he was now going to be single. I must have really made my position clear to him on this rule as the second thing out of his mouth after telling me about the demise of his relationship was 'I know you are wanting an "attached" guy, so if this changes things I will understand'.

Huge dilemma. Do I end the relationship because he is now single and I have always said single guys are out? or do I stick with it because I like him and we have a fantastic friendship/relationship?

After giving it a huge amount of thought and talking over my concerns with him too, I decided to hang it in there with him. We have a great thing going and a very clear understanding between us what our relationship is about. His being single isn't going to change that. I still wouldn't choose a single guy over a married one for a fuck buddy but I think he's worth bending this particular rule over...

I'm in lust with....

A porn star....yup you read that right. I have a major attack of the lusties over a porn star. I can't say that too often in my life I have succumbed to girlie crushes and lustful fantasies over a man...there was Jon Bon Jovi when I was a teenager in the '80's [you can stop sniggering now!] Keanu Reeves in the '90's [love the strong silent type!] and now its 'Rocco' - the italian stallion.

Those that know me well, know that I love watching porn. I am not a huge fan of the bulk-made commercial stuff, its too fake and contrived for me. I have a preference for the amateur stuff, love it. So I was over at redtube the other day searching out some amateur gems when a clip caught my eye. After watching it [3 or 4 times] I was in lust....

Now what, you may ask, is it about Rocco that floats my boat? I just love his style, of fucking that is. He actually looks like he's having fun and enjoying himself and the woman he's with, not just workin it for the extra $100 for the cum shot. It doesn't hurt that he's not too bad looking either, most of the guys in porn are well... icky for the want of a better word [think hairy backs, badly done fake tans, scary moustaches] Or maybe it cause he reminds me of Mr Big...

His work is definitely on the more hardcore side of things, so if that offends you, don't go searching for it and then bitch to me that it offended you. But if like me, the harder the better, jump onto redtube and search for Rocco, he's absolutely worth the look!

The best laid schemes of mice and men...

When we think of naughty encounters, we often imagine a joyous reunion of star-crossed lovers in a [fabulous or seedy, depending on budget and circumstances!] hotel room having wonderfully hot, sensual, dirty sex... And 99% of the time, that is no doubt the case. But sometimes its doesn't always quite go to plan. Yup, Mr Murphy with is irritating laws steps in and it all goes rather pear shaped.

Quite recently I had to spend three days working at an event out of town. It was far enough away from home to need to stay away for a couple of nights but close enough to Mr Big for him to be able to come and spend the night with me. The whole night with Mr Big....phew! So I duly book a fantastic room at very high end hotel [Hey work was paying and I'm the boss, so why not!] The big guy and I, spent most of the week getting all hot and steamy via text in anticipation of a whole night together. There was fun to be had and it was going to be GOOD!

Until...I got *that* text. Yeah, the one that says 'So very, very sorry I cant make it...' My tummy dropped in disappointment but at the end of the day, life happens. This was salvageable. I had a beautiful room booked and I could turn this into a *me* night, pamper myself, kick back and enjoy time with me.

So I checked in, ignoring the less than warm and friendly service [read no valet parking, no porter, rude reception....your a how many star hotel??] and sat back on the mine-for-the-night king size bed. Having spent the day on my feet, talking to what felt like a thousand people, I wasn't feeling inclined to troddle down to the 'rave review' restaurant headed up by the 'celebrity chef' and sample the delightful dishes on my own, so I order room service instead.

My 'gourmet' pizza and large glass of wine arrived. All I can say, is at least the wine was fantastic! [Can't beat a good kiwi cab sav!] The pizza? well... I have bought better at the supermarket. A long, soak in a hot bath later and my spirits were restored. I tucked myself into the huge bed [Omg I love hotel sheets, clean sheet day everyday!!] and reflected on my day. No lover, shite service, less than average food....oh well on the bright side it couldn't get any worse!

Until... I woke up the next morning, swung my feet out of bed and landed in several inches of freezing cold water. It had rained rather heavily in the night and flooded out half the ground floor, the half that I was staying in! Needless to say, I did not spend a second night there!

The door shut behind...

The door shut behind you with a firm click of the latch. Leaving me there in the room where we had just made love. I rest my head against the door, as I listen to your footsteps receding into the distance. My eyes close for a brief moment, allowing the past few hours rush through my mind in a jumble of images. Images of you, of I, of us tangled together in a whirlwind of need, longing and lust.

I smile at the now memory of our afternoon together, my lips still aching and swollen from your kisses and nipping teeth. I love the way that you kiss me, explore my mouth with yours, your tongue seeking out mine. Your roughening stubble scraping my chin. Scraping every part of my body that your mouth explores and devours.

As I pull my silky robe closer around me, it brushes across my still hard nipples, reminding me of the way you caressed them with your fingers and then your tongue. Oh those fingers, playing over my nipples as you held me from behind, your cock buried deep inside me, my back arched in pleasure, pushing my breasts into your waiting hands. Your hot breath on my neck.

Sighing deeply, I turn and survey the tangled mess of sheets on the bed. The indent on the pillow where your head lay only minutes before. The scent of you still fills the room, I too, am covered in it. There is a spot on my arm, that even if I haven't been with you for days or weeks, if I press my nose to it, I swear I smell your scent linger there. Erotic, enticing and comforting. You are always there.

I cross the room to gather up my own clothes. I too must leave. I feel the wetness that you left behind trickle between my thighs. There is a jolt of pleasure in my belly at the thought of the way you came deep inside me. My legs carelessly thrown over your shoulders as you dove into me over and over again before letting go with a guttural sound of satisfaction. Your eyes were locked on mine and more was said between us, silently, at that very moment than throughout the whole afternoon.

The door shut behind me...But the memory remains.

Don't forget to check out these other fab bloggers and their delightful, dishy and decadent take on this 'May I seduce you' group post!

Duchess
Hubman
Sheba
Ms Scarlett
Veronica
Enchanted Mistress
Aurore
Topaz
Ronjazz
Autumn
Britni
Library Vixen
Eden's Dragon
Submissively Me
Kimberly
Danimo
Lolita